Looking for Mr. and Mrs.Wrong
“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
Let our scars fall in love.”
― Galway Kinnell
I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. She was musing how was it possible that you could fall completely in love with a person and it feels so right but then things go so wrong. Her perfect guy had started to act up, now she was confused, thinking that he was all wrong for her. The only reason why he seemed wrong is because she had met the right-wrong person who reflected back to her, every single piece of relationship karma she had acquired over the years. They were in fact mirrors images of each other, by their behavior.
As we talked we could see that the areas where she had issues with him, there were things on her end that were just as negative. But sifting through the quagmire of karma, is what helped to make it clear to her what she really wanted in a relationship.
Sometimes we meet a person that seems so right for us. Everything fits and then this bubble bursts where suddenly we start acting weird toward each other. There is this intense attraction and connection but suddenly there is drama pulling you apart from this person. Guess what? It’s both of your relationship karma built up over the years of dating The Different Flavors of Wrong, that’s being reflected back to each other. All your “jacked-up-ness” is now front and center. Now all of a sudden you begin to think this person you once thought was right is now WRONG for you. YES THEY ARE!
They are the right WRONG person, who forces you to face yourself, look at all your demons and your issues. You have now run up on all your wrongness in dealing with this person. So these people force you to step back and look at yourself in the mirror and ask: What do I need to work on for myself? This person shows up in your life so you can heal, grow up and clearly define what type of relationship you want and deserve.
The wonderful part is if the two of you can grasp how your wrongs are making you both RIGHT then that is how you decide as the quote states: you can "find someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, this is the problem I want to have.”
All this time we have been looking for Mr./Mrs. Right, when they really don’t exist. Pipe dreaming! The reality is that Mr./Mrs.Wrong exist, but Wrong enough to make it Right!
Just my take!
*Still laughing out loud*