Awareness: Learning Love's Language.

“Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. 
It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.” 

Last week I attended a lecture by Dr. Gary Chapman. He is the author of the popular book, which has sold ten million copies titled The Five Love Languages. I was pleased to find Dr. Chapman to be extremely animated and hilarious. He discussed love of course, and the ways people communicate their love to each other. Over the many years as a marriage counselor, he discovered there are five ways couples communicate their love. 

They are:

Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch

If you are curious about what your main language is you can take the quiz here. You will be pleasantly surprised at what your results will be. And it will help you to communicate love more effectively with not only your significant other, but also family and friends.

I have known my primary and secondary love languages for a while. Since I am such an over-sharer I will tell you mine. They are Quality Time and Physical Touch. This is how I like to be “spoken” to. When you know the language of your significant other, you learn to speak it. So if someone I love really gets excited when they receive gifts, then I know this is how I should speak to their heart.

Sometimes, as Dr. Chapman brought out, if you pay attention you can tell  how a person wants to be spoken to by the things they complain about. So if you are with someone who says: “You never go anywhere with me”, they may be asking for you to spend time with them. Or if you notice that there is always a fuss when it comes time to do the laundry or load that dishwasher, then maybe the one you love would appreciate acts of service.

I love opportunities like this to get a chance to listen to someone who has been advising couples for many years. It’s information to add to that arsenal when you are building the type of relationship that you intend to grow with and one that you really want to last. When you are happily looking forward to the chance to get it right, information such as Dr. Chapman’s is powerful.

The trend toward adult relationships today, is healthier than it has been maybe ten or fifteen years ago. Many are asking for what they truly want and not settling for less. People are transcending past the immature games, moving through their arrested development, addressing their issues and doing the essential healing work needed within themselves that will allow them to finally have meaningful relationships. 

Relationships built on a strong sense of  awareness are about two whole-souled individuals coming together to create something bigger than themselves. It’s about giving, collaborating, supporting, creating, expanding and loving on a deeper and more committed level. The casual relationship, the one that goes nowhere and eventually dies, is slowly becoming a thing of the past. Those who are seriously looking for a good relationship are taking the time to do it with others who think as they do and have similar relationship goals. Just from talking to others I can tell people really do want that right vibrational match and they are taking the choices that are presented to them very seriously.

Therefore I was not surprised to see all the couples and singles in the audience the other night. It’s heartwarming to know that there are people who want to do what is best for themselves and therefore get the most joy out of their relationships. It’s good to know that those in the dating crowd are doing what they have to in order to set themselves up for successful and rewarding relationships.

So check out your Love Language. Do the work. Get excited, because knowledge is power. Enjoy the fact that you are finally getting “The Program” right and that next time around it can be really good!   

Have a wonderful week filled with Love!


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