Why Are You Here? Ad Infinitum

When we were younger, my best friend and I would lie on our backs on the floor, close our eyes and try to wrap our minds around the thought of the Alpha and Omega. Inevitably, we never got past a few seconds with this train of thought because it was so mind bending. It made our heads hurt. How does one imagine infinity, if all you have known is the temporary existence of the physical body?

Fast forward to today, and so much has changed. I can see and feel the infinite state of being from the past to this moment (now) and forward. When you come to the full understanding that the spirit is indestructible, you can see in your mind’s eye the future and you can feel it in your soul. 


The best way to describe how I came to this point was something I discovered in a moment of clarity. It unfolded as I was observing events surrounding the racial tensions that arose last year in this country. The events had sent me into a complete emotional meltdown, where I began to panic. It dawned on me that the only way I would ever get away from this place where all manner of disharmony exists, would be on the day I transition. So until then, I opined with tears on my pillow, I was stuck, here.

I have to give credit to my friend, guide and confidant Dennis for pulling me out of that melodrama with his kind and reassuring words. His words brought me back to a place of balance and calmed me down. Since that moment, I have not revisited that thought. Why?

Because I had a revelation!

Once calm, I asked myself what is it about being here, why is it that when I see things happen in the world that are so painful, why am I so deeply, viscerally affected and triggered. Therein the question was the revelation. It is because I can seem to remember that where I must come from is a place of constant love, joy and peace among other good things. This is something I have always felt deeply in my soul. I recall as a child feeling like I did not belong here. I watched people and still do today, behave in ways that make no sense to me. But I can also look at the world and see the possibilities.

We really do have this power within us for good all the time. We just do not act on it. And yes, I grew up being told that man “sinned” and that is why we see all these atrocities. But even when I thought about that, it did not make sense to me from a personal perspective. I knew I was a good person and felt I could be “good” all the time. I came to the conclusion that being good, feeling good, simply boiled down to my choices.

This awareness is the motivation behind my efforts to create a peaceful and loving life. I am creating my personal heaven on earth. I am applying the ideal that how I behave at my "spiritual home" is how I will behave “abroad”. It is the crux of my survival in an environment where a lot seems really off.

I am also aware that this is where I am moving toward, back to that space. It is not a literal locale; it is a place in the vast ocean of consciousness. It is an expanded elevation of thought, feeling, peace and a lot of love. It is a place of endless learning.

When your awareness begins to expand, you will find yourself looking at things very differently. You will observe the dichotomies of life and even the ones your own life. Elements such as hate, divisions, strife, greed, war, poverty and more are juxtaposed against an innate ability we have to love, live in abundance,  to care, learn, and create. We have a natural drive to support life.

We are just visiting this time and place in our individual consciousness, to discover this amazing opportunity. This is the reason for the awakening so many are experiencing. We are being roused to the truth of our connection to everything. We are remembering our existence is better, fuller and richer. When one remembers, all eventually recalls the immense magnificence of that inner spirit that is superbly wrapped in flesh and bones.  The things that are so “wrong” serve to remind us of how right we truly are.

That discovery leads us to a place of wonder and anticipation of what more we are to become. Is it not all the more reason to live in awareness, spirit and love?

Share your thoughts below. I want to know what discoveries you have made about why you are here!

Until the next time,


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